Sun-kissed

Deep, dark eyes sparkling in the afternoon sun, freckles gently dusting his nose, looking in his eyes, he seems to be screaming out for help. As if his heart is breaking in two and he doesn't know why. Everyday is a journey for him, fighting the world around him, trying to allow the good to shine through. The emotional scars taunting him daily, constantly reminding him of where he was and what he could be. The spiritual battle going on inside of him is fierce, it's difficult for him to choose the right way to go. Everyday he decides who he wants to be. Waking up, it is hard to know what challenges he will encounter. He's sweet, he's vicious, he's sincere, he's sarcastic, he's kind-hearted, he's insulting, he's warming, he's malicious... unbeknownst to him, I am continually praying for him. For many of the kids that surround me, everyday is a battle, much different from the one you and I know. With emotional baggage weighing them down, some of them wondering why they weren't 'good enough' for their parents to love them, others wondering why did their parents have to die, why couldn't another kid's parents have died. The other night I was putting the boys to bed, we were joking around and having fun as usual, when all of the sudden I heard the sound of a fist pounding someone's body, quickly followed by the sound of someone crying. As I ran over to see what was going on, I yanked the one boy from on top of the other and began to interrogate him as to why he was hitting. He pushed and pulled, trying to free himself from my grip but I wouldn't let him go. Finally he gave up and I stood there with my arm wrapped around him, my hand laying over his heart, feeling it stomp at a racing pace against his chest. We stood there in silence, my mind searching for the answer as to what could have possibly set him off. I asked him again 'Why were you hitting him?' He pulled away and ran to his bed, his breathe steady, but hard. I left the room, still in thought over what had just happened. I've seen these boys fight before, but this time it had been different, it was something deeper. I have yet to find out just what went wrong. But thinking about the other night reminds me of a different kind of love that you learn while living here. The kind that allows you to stay when you want to walk away the most, the kind that holds on even when you don't want it to. The kind of love that no matter how heavy the weight gets that you are carrying on your shoulders, it is always there to help share the load.